Day 4 Post Operation Friday 16th September

Even more progress. In fact I have to be careful now because I’m feeling great and could easily overdo something. Shaved, showered and fully dressed ready to go out on the town! But I’m not. However I did have a lovely stroll around the garden, taking in this wonderful Indian summer. Can’t last!

Watched the All Blacks to a demolition job in the Japanese, and now I’m going to read an old Triumph motorcycle book, kindly donated by my neighbour when they found out about my operation. I’ve got an “R” registered Daytona 900, yellow and black, pride of my hobbies. In the stable for a few weeks now.

I haven’t shared one of the more amusing side effects of this magnificent procedure with you yet. Wind! Not normal flatulence that you can politely excuse yourself in posh company. Oh no. Its more akin to a huge balloon fully inflated, suddenly released, flashing all over the room like a demented Exorcet, with the exhaust of a Saturn 5 rocket! It makes the after affects of a night on the beer with a good curry pale to insignificance. Sal is getting a bit fed up with me raising the sheets with my great explosions! Just as well I don’t smoke; a naked flame around one of these boys would definitely put you in orbit!

Why, you ask? Well to be fair, I was warned. To get this nifty robot into the body cavity they have to make room for it- what better way than inflating you slightly? Trouble is all the air does not depart with the exit of the robot- it finds its own way out afterwards, with most embarrassing consequences. It’s beginning to decline now, but don’t book tea with the queen straight after this session- she will not be amused!

We have a tradition in the John family on a Friday night. Chinese takeaway. It’s so well established that the owner of the China Gardens in Chepstow allows me to invent new combinations from his established menu. So a Dai John half and half is half a special Curry with half a special Chow-Mein with egg fried rice and chips. Now most nutritionists will be turning in their graves like spinning tops at this indulgence, but what the hell, it’s only once a week and everything in moderation…………including moderation! Might even indulge in a Peroni tonight- definitely on the mend!

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